Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
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I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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