we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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