so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
