i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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