capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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