He passed out mid-signature
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
