Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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