he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
