making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
