i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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