There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
