I think scott just propositioned me for sex
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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