we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
