Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
