i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
God, I missed his penis.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
