You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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