i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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