you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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