I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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