There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
