okay pat passed out under dana's car
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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