Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
