someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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