You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
