When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
