we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize