uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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