didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
