Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
