I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
