theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
