I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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