the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize