No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
