i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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