Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
