This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Tornado booty call.. dedication
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
