It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
