Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize