Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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