You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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