I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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