Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
