Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
