it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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