Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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