laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
