Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
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