is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize