why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
