don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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