that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
