i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize