There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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