CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
