to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
