p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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