You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
