I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
