i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize