I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
