I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
