The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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