You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
