Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
