I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
