So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
