just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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