i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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