Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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