C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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