Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
